ANGER MANAGEMENT

22Oct07

i have a temper. a short fuse. anger streaks. (close to but not yet) rage blackouts. and what’s worse, it’s selective.

i realize i’m quick to raise my voice. my heart races from a normal pace to rage in miliseconds. i reach conclusions and turn defensive easily.

and for all this while, i’ve always thought i was calm and level headed in dealing with anger.

but no, you can be wrong. and sometimes, it just takes an honest companion to make you see. all for the better too. honesty bites sometimes, it may hurt you. some things are meant to be kept quiet for various reasons. white lies to protect, to shield. but sometimes, a good dose of honesty will sting like hell, and then heal.

thank you.

today was as much as normal a monday morning as it can be aside from the fact that i actually woke up early, only to find myself caught in a traffic jam caused by some schmuck who can’t think to drive carefully in the rain, and other schmucks who make things worse in the face of an accident. malaysian driving leaves a lot to be desired. some idiot just had to make me moan a monday blues post. sheesh.

i am really looking forward to my openhouse sunday. i think i’ve shelled out invites to everyone who are supposed to be invited. i think. also hope that the interkuliyyah finals doesn’t clash with it. and since we’re on that, i hope we win. fingers crossed. and while we’re on that, i feel i haven’t been doing well lately. maybe it’s rust, maybe it’s a shatter of confidence, but whatever it is, i’ll have to work on it before it becomes a problem. before it ruins any chances, you know. my book review, sighs. i’ll get it uploaded soon, i promise. i don’t think i’m dyslexic, but the task i find extraordinarily challenging. maybe i should check if i am.

i’ve had a lot in my head. mainly cause i’ve been silent for the past 4 hours. it doesn’t work well with me, silence. gab is god’s gift to me, and gab i shall. i just need more gab companions. note to self : retain the old, and embrace the new.

i’ve been thinking of moving to ameenah next semester. lures and invitations helped, but what sealed the deal for me was the fantastic nap i had in balqis and eera’s room today. sure beats the musty, overcrowded state of my current polly pocket room which apparently is trying to house barbies. i don’t know. should i move?

finals are up in a week.

macro presentation is tomorrow.

last batch of classes, wednesday.

study break, thursday and friday.

interkuliyyah finals and openhouse, the weekend.

then it’s the finals.

personal goal : >3.50 cgpa

steps to achieve goal : close to none

remedy : ditch blog, internet and luxurious distractions.

wish me luck. BIG SIGH.

Filed under: debate, life, thoughts   |  1 Comment
Tags: monday blues, revelations